Walk Like a Man
How to Survive New York City at Christmas
Ah, New York City during the holidays—where dreams are made of, and sidewalks are destroyed by stampedes of tourists. You’re here to finish holiday shopping, see the Rockefeller tree, and maybe ice skate in a giant pit of humanity? Bold choice.
But let me warn you: walking through NYC at Christmas is like navigating a bazaar in Madagascar—except here, it costs more. A LOT more. So, pack your wallet and your best sneakers. You’re going to need both.
“Another smug New Yorker hating on tourists?”
Nope. I’m a Chicago gal. I cut my teeth on Cubs crowds in Wrigleyville before moving here 30 years ago. There’s still a little Midwest still in me—enough to sympathize with wide-eyed newcomers. But this city has toughened me up. If you’re going to survive Midtown in December, you need to learn to walk like a New Yorker.
The Holiday Hustle: 125 Million Strong
Let’s put this in perspective: every holiday season, an estimated 125 million people descend on Rockefeller Center and Midtown. That’s nearly 40% of the entire U.S. population squeezed into a few blocks. Meanwhile, Manhattan’s sidewalks weren’t designed to accommodate modern foot traffic, let alone the entire cast of “It’s a Small World.”
Thanks to NYC’s growing population density (in spite of the rents), even the less touristy areas feel like Times Square on steroids. Here’s how to not lose your sanity—or your footing—while you’re here.
1. Look Both Ways (Seriously, Do It)
This isn’t your sleepy suburban cul-de-sac. In NYC, one-way streets are suggestions for everything except cars. Bikes, e-scooters, skateboards, and rollerbladers? They’re the silent assassins of Manhattan. They speed along at 20-30 mph, often going the wrong way. They won’t stop, and they definitely won’t yield.
Step off the curb without looking, and you’ll get acquainted with NYC’s notorious ER wait times.
Trust me, I learned this the hard way, on my first day working here. So, don’t be like me. Look both ways. Twice.
2. Find a Human Bulldozer
Here’s a pro tip: find someone bigger, faster, and more determined than you and tail them like your life depends on it—because it kind of does. This "body block" strategy works wonders. Your chosen bulldozer zigs, you zig. They carve a path; you waltz through it. Think of yourself as the remora to their great white shark. (Just don’t tell them.)
3. Master “The Swivel”
NYC crowds are contact sports. If you don’t want to spend the holidays nursing shoulder bruises, channel your inner ice skater. Keep your legs moving forward while swiveling your upper body side to side to dodge hard-shell briefcases, oversized backpacks, and those giant Macy’s bags swinging like wrecking balls.
Bonus: mastering “The Swivel” makes you look like you belong here, which is half the battle.
4. Perfect the Sneer
Forget about smiling or making eye contact. This is New York, not a Hallmark movie. Here, eye contact screams “I’m a tourist!” and invites every flyer-shoving hustler or aggressive street vendor within a mile. Instead, channel James Dean. Harden your gaze, twist your mouth into a smirk, and exude an aura of “I don’t have time for you.”
It’s not rude; it’s survival.
5. Ditch the Subway (Just This Once)
I know, I know. Everyone says you have to ride the subway. And sure, it’s efficient—if you understand NYC’s spaghetti-bowl transit system. But during the holidays, when platforms are crammed like sardine cans, and delays are inevitable, it’s a lot.
Take the bus instead. NYC buses double as cheap sightseeing tours. You’ll crawl through traffic, sure, but you’ll also see the city up close—and you won’t end up ten miles away from your intended destination.
Pro tip: download the MTA app so you know exactly when the next bus is coming. Patience is a virtue.
6. Embrace the Madness
If you’re reading this thinking, “None of this is scaring me away,” then congratulations—you’re going to have a great time. There’s nowhere else like New York at Christmas. Sure, it’s expensive. Yes, it’s overcrowded. And okay, maybe it’s a tiny bit dangerous. But it’s also magical.
So go ahead—gawk at the tree, grab a hot chocolate, and enjoy the chaos. Just remember: when you’re walking these streets, as the old Four Seasons song says, Walk Like a Man.
Final Word: New York City is a holiday gift you didn’t ask for, wrapped in attitude and sprinkled with glitter. Handle it right, and it’s the best gift you’ll get this season. Handle it wrong, and it’s... well, a lesson you’ll never forget.